50 Funniest Remarks Ever Written on RateMyProfessors.com

OK. “Funniest” always has been and — until the advent of loyalty chips installed directly in the brain — always will be an incredibly subjective term. And with over 10 million comments to slog through, some of the ones that bust guts and transcend time and space with their epic hilarity may have gotten lost in the slew of tragically misspelled permutations of “WORST TEACHER EVAR!!” and “I HAD TO DO HOMEWORK AND READ BOOKS!! UGH!!” and “I guess those frowny-face reviews just don’t like to study!”

Much like students and teachers themselves, they can’t all be winners.

Some goodies, however, still managed to sneak on through. But that doesn’t change the fact that colleges across the United States really need to start liberally handing out dictionaries and crack down even harder on the rampant, violent abuse of English grammar and spelling. Yikes.

  1. “Whatever you do…AGREE with her on ALL issues, praise her and tell her she is the greatest, fall down to your knees and worship her, then maybe, just maybe you might make a B”: Regarding English professor Elizabeth Latshaw at Auburn University in Alabama.
  2. “She is a Demon [sic]!”: Regarding physics professor Renate Wackerbauer at Alaska’s University of Alaska Fairbanks.
  3. “When I actually do go to class, halfway through i [sic] begin to hate God for giving me the legs that brought me there”: Regarding political science professor Henry Kim at University of Arizona.
  4. “She needs retirement and some Trainquilizers [sic]!”: Regarding psychology professor Belinda Blevins-Knabe at University of Arkansas at Little Rock.
  5. “Yes, he’s a little arrogant (he went to Hahvahd, it’s understandable)”: Regarding sociology professor Brian Powers at University of California Berkeley.
  6. “The worst memory I have of Kowalski was when I stopped by his POSTED off-hours to ask him a question, and he was in his boxers and ‘wife beater'”: Regarding physics professor Frank Kowalski at Colorado School of Mines.
  7. “I worked my butt off to get into Yale (when I say worked my Butt off [sic] I mean my Dad called in a favor) and the very first class I have is with this tool”: Regarding history professor John Faragher at Yale University.
  8. “I don’t understand, this guy’s been around, he danced the hokey pokey with trobriand [sic] islanders, he sat in saunas with Indian chiefs, why the hell can’t he bring that wild side to class?!?”: Regarding anthropology professor Peter M. Weil at University of Delaware.
  9. “If this guy were a gang, I would go to war with him”: Regarding music professor Jeremy Burnum at Full Sail University.
  10. “Once or twice, his theory talk was interesting, but other than that the only thing that keeps the blood in my brain flowing is wondering what the hell is up with the fanny pack”: Regarding mathematics professor Johan Belinfante at Georgia Institute of Technology.
  11. “She looks like a fried Barbie doll and acts like one too”: Regarding mathematics professor Ronnie Crane at Hawaii Pacific University.
  12. “She thinks she is making the class spiritual, but I could feel the spirit more in night club, wasted, and ya [sic]…”: Regarding business management professor Candyce Miller at Brigham Young University — Idaho.
  13. “his milanos bring all the girls to the…finals”: Regarding art history professor Charles Cohen at University of Chicago.
  14. “He once showed the class a video on cancer survivors. He then promptly compared their heroism to that of the hockey team”: Regarding music professor Ken Dye at University of Notre Dame in Indiana.
  15. “He sounds like he’s going to die when he coughs”: Regarding chemistry professor Ron Erickson at University of Iowa.
  16. “He looks like Bert from Sesame Street”: Regarding engineering professor Nagaraja Thanthry at Wichita State University.
  17. “Take him if you need the class. But come prepared with an energy drink and a coloring book because that is the only way you will last”: Regarding business professor Roland Buck at Morehead State University in Kentucky.
  18. “Don’t forget the daily quizzes that ask the color of the character’s last bowel movement. Those are great”: Regarding English professor John Mosier at Loyola University.
  19. “He belongs in a library…. [sic] no he could never help anyone…maybe in a convent.. [sic] no locked in his house by himself”: Regarding English professor Willard Rusch at University of Southern Maine.
  20. “Dabich is the worst living thing I have ever met, even worse than that rabid dog that bit me”: Regarding chemistry professor Eli Dabich at United States Naval Academy.
  21. “Peel away the layers of his superadded bombast and you get very little, maybe a wimpering [sic] thought, a distant muffled howl, a cry for help”: Regarding English professor Homi K. Bhaba at Harvard University.
  22. “Don’t take this class in the fall because it will ruin your whole Christmas”: Regarding social science professor Jo Ann McFall at Michigan State University.
  23. “Her class redefines hell, that’s all I’m going to say”: Regarding economics professor Luz Saavedra at University of St. Thomas.
  24. “Popular among history majors. However, among mouth-breathing near-literates, not so popular . . . apparently”: Regarding history professor Michael Namorato at University of Mississippi.
  25. “i [sic] think he eats acid for breakfast”: Regarding psychology professor Donald Fischer at Missouri State University.
  26. “It’s basically . . .(5 min passes) . . . it’s essentially . . . (5 more min) . . . it’s like . . . (legs flail in the air) . . . well, what do you think?”: Regarding engineering professor Rod James at Montana Tech.
  27. “This teacher is like a squirrel”: Regarding history professor Lorainne Gesick at University of Nebraska-Omaha.
  28. “its [sic] like the biology department wanted to play a pratical [sic] joke on us. i [sic] hoped on the last day the dean would come in and say ‘gotcha!’ but it never happened”: Regarding biology professor Kurt Regner at University of Nevada Las Vegas.
  29. “I hear dude was in the Israeli army; I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d killed someone with his own hands”: Regarding economics professor Meir Kohn at Dartmouth College.
  30. “Lost all hope that I’d get anything out of this course when I went to the bookstore and found out that the text for it was ‘Math Is Hard!’ by Barbie”: Regarding mathematics professor Ivy Forbes at Princeton University.
  31. “…he made a lot of drug references in my class, maybe he likes to party?”: Regarding chemistry professor Thomas Tekut at New Mexico Military Institute.
  32. “Class is a serious health liability, meaning that it makes me want to kill myself three times a week.”: Regarding anthropology professor Linta Varghese at Vassar College.
  33. “…Smells like old Bandaids [sic], what more can I say?”: Regarding statistics professor Dalene Stangl at Duke University.
  34. “Throw stuff at her”: Regarding aerospace professor Beth Bjerke at University of North Dakota.
  35. “She has the technical ability of an 80 year old Pennsylvania Dutch cowhand”: Regarding journalism professor Evonne Whitmore at Kent State University.
  36. “I guess he is hard to understand if you’re a backwoods redneck who only speaks ‘merican”: Regarding biology professor Arnon Rikin at Oklahoma State University.
  37. “BUYER BEWARE! PRODUCT NOTORIOUS TO IMPLODE ON IMPACT!!!!!!”: Regarding communication professor Valerie Vance at Oregon Institute of Technology.
  38. “He is the awesomest man alive. And his wife makes great breakfast.”: Regarding mathematics professor Juan Jorge at Carnegie Mellon University.
  39. “He took photographs of an young [sic], pretty figure model and then never even used them in class”: Regarding fine arts professor Luis Alonso at Rhode Island School of Design.
  40. “If I had a choice between taking another one [of] Prof. Cohn’s classes and being saturated with brown gravy and locked in a room with a wolverine that is high on PCP, then I honestly believe that I would choose the latter of these two choices”: Regarding mathematics professor Leslie Cohn at The Citadel.
  41. “I feel sorry for people I know that don’t know about her yet. Sorry, like someone watching a cat get caught in a garbage disposal. Poor cat. Don’t be a cat”: Regarding mathematics professor Margo Law at South Dakota State University.
  42. “She is a breakfast cereal prof; fruit, nut, and flake”: Regarding sociology professor Margie Miller at Christian Brothers University in Tennessee.
  43. “How can you teach a marriage course when you’ve been divorced 3 times?”: Regarding sociology professor David Bailey at Sam Houston State University.
  44. “I’d rather have bamboo shoots grow in my fingernails than take his class again”: Regarding psychology professor Harold Miller at Brigham Young University.
  45. “She spells chromosome wrong…that should tell you something…” : Regarding science professor Linden Higgins at University of Vermont.
  46. “He might even run you over with his car if you don’t look while crossing the street. He has allready [sic] done it once!”: Regarding physics professor Joseph Slawny at Virginia Tech.
  47. “I think that lady should be brought up in front of the warcrimes [sic] court in the Hague for things she did to those poor students”: Regarding physics professor Elizabeth Zita at Evergreen State College.
  48. “OMG one word: peanuts! You know the teacher on peanuts… buah buah… buah buah buah….”: Regarding political science professor Gerry Beller at West Virginia State University.
  49. “Favorite quotes from Dr. Noel: ‘The grass in your yard is a grass.’ ‘This is a diagram of a diagram'”: Regarding biology professor Dale Noel at Marquette University in Wisconsin.
  50. “Class was way easy and a great class, but I got yelled at for eating a bagel because ‘it is a very bad thing'”: Regarding sociology professor Gary Hampe at University of Wyoming.